Many people say that being a teenager is confusing. They’re not wrong. Being a teenager can be rough. But despite the warning on that front, I don’t feel like I was adequately informed about how confusing it is to be an adult!
You turn eighteen, and myriad more doors suddenly open. You can write your own narrative. Where will you work, study, or travel? How will you spend your time and money? Who will you spend time with? When will you ‘settle down’ with a house and a family?
It’s not only choices that increase; the scale of competition1 as an adult is far greater and more multi-faceted. There is constant comparison on every front. We all feel the need to perform at work, university, and even with hobbies.
It so affects our identity that sometimes it feels like we shouldn’t even try if we’re not going to be ‘the best’ or at least above average at something. This culture of ‘crisis individualism’2 has even invaded our leisure—we use apps to measure and compare our sleep and exercise.
It doesn’t stop with rest. This performance mentality leaks into our spirituality.
Earlier this week, I was convicted of believing the lie that I’m never ‘doing enough’ for God. What’s underneath that? Why do I think I have to keep doing to be loved by my Father?
Desiring spiritual maturity is good, but it must always be secondary to our desire for God Himself. Otherwise, we forfeit our deepest longing—to know and be known by God—and slip backwards into a works-based salvation. If we can justify ourselves, then Jesus’ death and resurrection were for nothing.
It’s a lie that God would love me more if I increased my spiritual discipline. There are always more ‘good things’ that we could do; this does not inherently make them ‘God things’ that we should do. There are times to practice many disciplines, and there are times to keep it simple. The important thing is that we keep in step with the Spirit3 and seek to honour Him.
When reading scripture, I am continually reminded that God cares more about our heart posture than our actions.4 Our actions reveal our hearts, anyway. This doesn’t erase the consequences of bad decisions made with good intentions—that’s not the point. Rather, it’s a call to focus on who we are becoming. Living aligned with God’s vision of reality will help us make wise choices. After all, God is the greatest and truest Reality there is!5
Things will fall into place when we keep our eyes on Him who is Truth. But even when we do that, the periphery can feel boggling. There are so many flashing lights and loud noises that it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. While there are times for retreat, running away doesn’t solve any problems. We are called to be in the world and not of it.6 How do we faithfully do that?
Even mature and godly people make mistakes; you and I are not immune. While I’m familiar with theological doctrines that assure me God uses all things for good7 and that I can’t out-sin his love for me,8 my thoughts don’t always reflect this. It’s so easy to live from a place of fear instead of resting securely in my identity as a beloved child of God.
Amidst the con-fusion of our world—the mixing, mingling, and merging of conflicting messages—we are constantly being sold lies about who we are and how we should live. It would be foolish to say that previous generations didn’t experience confusion, but our age of information makes discernment harder than ever.
Ultimately, I am utterly incapable of discerning truth without the illuminating light of the Holy Spirit. This dependence is good and holy. Where sin runs deep, His grace runs deeper still. It is through increasing reliance on God and awareness of our limitations that we come to know Truth.
I just did a double-take when looking at Microsoft Word’s suggested synonyms for competitive: good, reasonable, useful, likely, and viable. I know it depends on the context, but… what does this say about our culture?!
Mark Sayers on Rebuilders.
Galatians 5v25.
There’s so much scripture on this! See Deuteronomy 6v5, Psalm 51v17, Ezekiel 3v10, and the whole Sermon on the Mount for a handful of examples.
This reminds me of C. S. Lewis’ The Great Divorce—one of my favourite books!—that depicts heaven as infinitely more solid and ‘real’ than earth.
John 17v6-19.
Romans 8v28.
Romans 8v35.